"Good Morning Starshine" ~ Oliver

My husband Ethan and I stayed in the waiting room overnight last night.  We let the nurse know we were here, but we also let him know we would stay out of his way unless he needed us.  The nurses here like for there to be "night-time" for the patients.  They try to do their best to have the room darker, voices quieter, and they don't mess with them except when they take vitals.  Ethan and I really slept well.  This was the first night that we have slept away from our nine week old son - who still doesn't sleep through the night.  I got about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  

I continued to check the clock, though.  They close the ICU to visitors during 6 to 8:30 am and pm.  At about 5:50 am I crept down the hall.  I need to tell you if you don't already know, but Mom is not a morning person.  Growing up, Daddy and I were too talkative and had too much energy for mom in the morning.  She was always a grump.  Most days Daddy and I would poke fun at her - and Heidi - for being tired and grumpy.  So, when I went in the room this morning I took all of my energy with me.  I whispered to the nurse and asked about her night.  He told me there was no change.  It was a quiet night.  She hadn't really woken up, but her vitals all were looking good and he thought she was improving.  

I moved closer to mom and just looked at her.  Stared really.  Yesterday, I didn't know if I would be able to do that today and I was yelling in my head a thank you to God.  I would yelled out loud, but I didn't want to frighten anyone.  Some of mom's roommates are a little jumpy.  

As I watched her breathe, her eye moved and looked at me.  Her face is all swollen, so her eyes- especially her right eye just barely peeks out from below her lid.  I said good morning and then hurried to find the nurse.  He turned on the light (something Mom hates in the morning) and pulled on her eyelids.  When I talked to her, she focused on me again.  She watched me jump up and down and her eyes followed my movements.  The nurse asked her to squeeze his hand and she couldn't yet.  He seemed pleased, wrote the progress in her chart and stepped a few feet away to check on another patient.   

I wasn't done visiting with mom.  I had ten minutes and I was going to use every bit of that time to wake her up if I could.  I talked a bit.  It is easier to find words this morning for me.  It seems we have gone over one "hurdle" and I am more hopeful than I have been in days.  I told her all about the tumor being gone.  I told her about Daddy hugging the doctor - several times last night.  (Heidi, Daddy, and I tackled him outside of Mom's room again late last night when he had checked on her just one more time.  He is such a kind man.)  I told her that she would just get better now - so focus on that and we would be here every step of the way.  As I was talking I would tell her something and then say, "Right?" or "You know that, Mom - right?" TWICE while I spoke with her, she nodded her head up and down.  I grabbed the nurse and tried to show him, but nothing happened.  I know I saw it.  The nurse believed it.  

It seems for now she is improving.  I am so proud of my mom!  I am sure I will write more later today - keep praying!!