Two fingers

Since the last post I have been up at the hospital.  Heidi went to the doctor and found out she has a serious sinus infection.  She is on a z-pack and some other things, but should be somewhat better by the morning.  

Mom is doing very well.  I told someone today that I just don't know what to expect each time I go to the hospital.  Sometimes I think - today will be a great day for Mom.  On those days it seems like something is a bit off and then they sedate her and tell us to be quiet.  Other days I think I will see no improvement and feel sad.   It is on those days I am pleasantly surprised by Mom's progress.  

Daddy was the first one to see Mom hold up two fingers for the nurse.  Mom held up two fingers when asked on her right hand and then two fingers when asked on her left hand.  I heard the story many times, but it wasn't until Ethan came to the hospital that I asked her to show me her two fingers.  I was holding her left hand and that is the one she showed me first.  I was excited and jumped up and down and clapped.  Mom was not finished.  She decided to hold up her right hand and show me two fingers on that side as well.  Ethan told her that she must just be showing off.  

Mom looks a lot better, too.  The swelling in her face and hands has begun to go down.  

Daddy talked about the breathing tube to me today.  The doctor said that they would leave it in for a while longer because of the pressure in her head.  (This was talked about on Friday.)  Mom is mostly breathing on her own now.  The machine is on a setting that will kick in if Mom doesn't breathe as often as she should.  The nurse is also watching her oxygen levels.  We HOPE that they will take out the breathing tube on Monday.  We all feel that this would be a great step along the road of recovery.

Mom's skull pressure was anywhere between 10 and 20 today.  Mom gets medicine to help her control her skull pressure every 6 hours.  After getting the medication her pressure could be as low as 10 - it happened twice today.  Most of the time it was between 16 and 20, though.  I still think of this as progress.  Little by little they are taking her off some of her sedation medication and also the medicine that helps control the pressure in her head.  Sometime in the near future she will not need those medications at all.  

I am doing my best to update the blog.  I have decided that I will post once in the mornings (before noon) and once in the evenings (before I go to bed) unless there are changes or updates.  I am finding during this time of healing things are really uneventful and not very exciting.  I am fine with uneventful.  I have had enough excitement in the last 12 days to last me the entire year.  Uneventful also means that Mom is healing normally.  These things take a lot of time.  

Thank you for your continued prayers and help for my family!  We are very blessed to know each one of you and call you our friends!

"Life just is; you have to flow with it.  Give yourself to the moment and breathe...."  ~Granny B.

Granny B. is the grandmother of my principal.  I thought this was the perfect beginning to this entry in the life and times of Mom.  Heidi stayed at the hospital last night with our cousin Karen House.  Heidi got sick.  It began with her chest hurting and a bit of a cold and it has turned into something more.  Karen has taken her to a Care Now facility - or as Ethan calls them "a doc in a box".  I hope she gets better soon.  She flies out tomorrow and I know she would like to see Mom again before she goes.  

Daddy and I are at the hospital now.  We will either be on floor 2 or floor 4 of Roberts in the waiting room.  If we are on floor 2, we will not be in the first waiting room you see.  If you turn right out of the elevators and then turn right at the dead end, you will see an "ICU" waiting room.  That is where we might be.  If we are on floor 4, we will stay in the main waiting room.  You are in it as soon as you step off the elevators.  Floor 4 is PACKED and really doesn't even have places to sit.  You can always call me at 972-977-6157 and I will tell you where we are if you visit.  If my phone is off, please leave a message.  I am probably in with Mom if my phone is off.  Daddy doesn't want to miss anyone.  

Mom is more alert than I have seen her in days.  I have not seen her smile, though.  The nurse checked her out and asked her to hold up two fingers.  Mom did this with both hands.  Mom squeezes hands, nods her head and is opening her eyes more than just a sliver.  Some swelling is down.  This is great improvement!!  Her ICP (skull pressure) is still between 18 and 20.  I would like to see it down more than that.  

Ethan is coming to the hospital later today to see Mom.  I plan to stay with her tonight.  I am not sure about tomorrow.  For the most part we are taking one day at a time.  

Friday afternoon

You know today began this morning at 4:30 am for me.  My son, 9 week old Luke, had to eat and he woke me up to tell me so.  You also know that my daughter had pajama day at school.  Earlier today I was thinking that the world had kept on turning while my little part of it had stopped.  The last ten days had really turned my tiny world up-side down.  We are still feeling the effects of that tumble.  But aren't we blessed that Mom is still with us?  We are blessed because she seems to be healing.  I am so proud of her!  She is very tough.  

The nurse for today was the same as yesterday.  I found out more about her.  She is new to the day shift.  She has not had to deal with family and doctors coming in at all times.  She has only been doing day shift for about 2 weeks.  Today, I would find my mom unattended, but everything fine.  I probably walked in at the wrong times or something.  But, to make myself feel better - I did speak with the head nurse.  I didn't want to complain.  (Mom is getting better.  She is fine - and didn't seem uncomfortable today.)  The ICU was busy, too.  The ice at the beginning of the week brought a lot more people to the ICU.  Even the waiting room was packed so we spent today on the second floor.  I decided it was best, since I didn't have HUGE problems - to begin with compliments.  I praised them for the care they have taken with Mom.  I told her that we had been on the floor for 10 days.  I asked if we could request nurses.  She said no.  So, I proceeded to name each nurse that we have enjoyed and why we enjoyed them.  I even mentioned one that was snippy with me, but took excellent care of Mom and I thanked her for her excellent staff.  Then I mentioned that the nurse we had today and yesterday was not our favorite.  She asked for specifics and explained that they were busy and short one nurse today.  I just reminded her of the nurses we loved and thanked her for her attention to my mom.  This makes me feel better.  Problem solved.  New nurses will be on with us for the weekend.  

Mom stayed the same for today.  She could open her eyes, but only slightly.  Her swelling was down some.  Her ICP levels seemed to stay the same.  Her internist said that they were not treating her for "Factor 5" yet because her brain was the biggest concern for now.  They may begin treatment for "Factor 5" in about 2 weeks or so.  They are making sure to check her for any visible blood clots.  The doctors know exactly what they are doing.  Mom is getting better.

It is too early to create a plan of care.  We need to make it through next week.  

For tonight - Heidi and my Mom's second cousin Karen House are staying at the hospital.  Tomorrow, Ethan, Daddy and I will all be visiting her.  I will stay at the hospital with Heidi tomorrow night.  Heidi has decided to go back to Nashville on Sunday.  She hates to leave Mom, but hopes to be back at the end of February.  Since she is leaving on Sunday evening, she is spending as much time at the hospital with Mom now.  While she is here - I will take more time with my family at home.  This should be a quiet weekend.  We don't expect to see her doctor again until Monday.  I will update as I have news.  Thank you so much for praying for my mom!

Friday Morning

Daddy stayed at the hospital last night.  Heidi and I got to go home and sleep in our own beds.  This morning I sent Avery off to school.  It was pajama day at school and she couldn't wait to show her best friend Lindy her monkey pajamas.  Lindy got to school just as we pulled up so the two girls walked into school together.  Avery was very excited.  Almost too excited to eat breakfast.  I am glad that at least Avery is beginning to have some sort of schedule again.  

Mom seems the same as yesterday.  Mom's skull pressure is in the high teens. (About 18 or 19).  This is just a bit above normal.  The doctor said that this process is a slow one.  In the 5-6 years that he has been here, he has only seen about 7 or 9 patients with the type and size of Mom's tumor.  

Mom is getting fed today through a feeding tube.  This seems like a step forward.  Mom had her eyes open today.  She squeezed Dad's hand and she is blinking her eyes.  She moves her hands and arms. 

Now, for help.  Next week I have decided to take one more week off of work.  At the end of next week I will decide if it is okay for me to go back to work.  Mom still has several weeks of recovery here and Daddy and I are going to need help.  If you wouldn't mind staying with Mom a few hours during the day, please let me know.  We are hoping to get at least 5 people who can help us in this way so that maybe you would only visit once a week.  We don't want to take advantage of your help.  Mom will need me to be off again when she goes to a regular room and then again when she goes home.  For now we are trying to plan a week at a time.  

We appreciate your prayers and concerns.  Please don't forget to e-mail addresses and phone numbers to my e-mail.  aclark78@hotmail.com

Please continue to pray for Mom's recovery.

Mom's Address Book

I have been taking everyone's advice.  I went home today a little earlier than expected to take care of some work things for Mom.  One of the things Daddy and I have been looking for since she got sick is her calendar and address book.  It was a book Mom always had with her, but we don't have a clue where it is now.  

I need your help to make her a new one.  Daddy and I are lost without the numbers and addresses in it.  Please, send your address and phone numbers to my e-mail address.  I will not make you post them on the blog.  The address is aclark78@hotmail.com

I will make a new book for Mom and Daddy.  Thank you for sending that information.  Also, for me, please include how you know Mom and Daddy (through ACU, work, whatever.)  Even if you think we have the information - send it.  I will be able to update some of my records as well.  Thanks!

Now, about Mom.  The nurse got better throughout the day.  I think it helped to have us there checking on her often.  I don't think she will become my favorite nurse, but at least she knows we will be there for Mom to check up on things.  

Mom's skull pressure is around 18 or 19.  Heidi reported to me about 20 minutes ago on her way back to Mom's house to sleep for the night.  She spent all day at the hospital and then met Daddy and Karen (a cousin) for dinner.  She then kissed Mom goodnight and headed home.  Also, they took Mom off of the ice.  Mom's temperature must have been down.  

So, Mom is sleeping well on her sedation medication and Heidi and I should sleep well, too.  Daddy will stay at the hospital tonight and then tomorrow we will all sit down and figure out what we are going to do next week with work, home, and Mom.  We decided it would be best to make those decisions on Friday.  

I went up to check on Mom.  I think she is better now.  Of course we cannot stay long, so I quickly asked the nurse the important questions.  

Mom's ICP (inner cranial pressure) is 14.  This is great because normal is between 8 and 15.  Her fever was up to 99 earlier so they have placed an ice pack on her chest.  This will help to cool the blood going to her brain and help keep the ICP down.  

The nurse seemed more attentive and even talked to me about taking care of Mom just the way she would want her parents to be taken care of.  (During this speech I wondered if she had read my earlier post on the blog.)  I made sure she had both of our cell phone numbers and reminded her that Heidi would be the main contact for her today because she will be here sometimes today when I am not. 

For now, we don't need a new nurse.  I haven't said anything to the staff yet either.  Heidi and I will continue to check on the nurse and if we see problems - even little things, we might talk with the charge nurse this evening and make sure the nurse today gets a new assignment for tomorrow....

Impressions

I have heard that first impressions are important.  This morning after shift change Heidi and I went into see Mom.  I didn't get the best first impression of Mom's new nurse.  

During the few minutes we were there I noticed Mom's eye mask was not on her eye anymore, it was coving her nose.  The nurse told us the doctor had been in to see Mom and we were not called.  I asked her why and she told us not to expect them to keep track of where we are in the hospital.  They couldn't be expected to know that.  (We had been on floor two all night and this morning.  We told the night nurse and she promised to call one of us at the first sign of the doctor.)  We missed the doctor.  The new nurse said, "I can page him if you would like."  But we didn't want to bother him if Mom was just the same.  I would rather him be paged if there were changes and we had real questions for him.  The nurse also checked her cathater.(Sound it out, I don't know how to spell that word.)  The cathater spilled all over the floor.  Mom's left arm also looked as if it wasn't in a good position.  The other nurses have been trying to lay it on pillows and get her hand above her elbow in an elevated sort of way.  This helps to reduce swelling in her hands.  Her arm this morning was underneath the pillow and jammed up against her body.  Heidi and I fixed it.  

I can understand not calling us.  I would rather her focus be on Mom and taking care of Mom.  BUT - she needs to make sure she is taking care of Mom.  Heidi and I are going to go in there often today and make sure the nurse is keeping up with all of Mom's needs.  Usually, these nurses are with us for 2 and 3 days so they get to know the patient.  I will request another nurse if I think she isn't doing a good job.  We will wait and see.

Back to Mom - her pressure in her skull is up to "20 something" (exact words from the nurse who is not paying close enough attention.)  I think it is in the low 20s.  The nurse gave her morphine to help the pressure.  I didn't get a clear answer as to if the morphine had helped yet.

Although we cannot stimulate Mom too much, I will check on her soon.  

Anyone who has gone through this - if we have complaints or want to request another nurse for another day - who do I talk to?

Sedation

I updated the blog late last night and now.  If you didn't see last nights post, you might want to.

Heidi and I stayed last night.  We stayed down on the 2nd floor. (Mom is on the 4th.)  The second floor has a newer waiting room.  As long as we let the nurse know where we are, they call or find us if they need to.  We got some sleep.  It wasn't the best sleep I have ever had, though.  Heidi even got woken up during the night by 2 police officers that told her not to wear her sleep mask.  (Currently, Heidi is covered up with a quilt from head to toe to block any light.  I think she slept about as well as I did.)  (I have to add more to this story now that Heidi is awake.  According to Heidi - The police officers woke her up last night to tell her she had dropped her cell phone.  I must have dreamed the whole - don't wear the mask thing.)  

At 5:45 this morning I woke up.  I didn't have to set my alarm.  I just checked my phone several times last night.  Heidi heard me and we both went into see Mom before they closed the ICU until 8:30 am.  When we walked in we saw Mom spalled out on the bed.  She is like this because she has been put back on a sheet that moves her around about every 10 minutes or so.  This is so she will not get pressure sores from being in the same position too long.  The nurse that looks too young to be a nurse watching my mom was very nice and told us everything that has been going on overnight.  

The doctor has been worried about pressure from swelling in Mom's brain.  When I went to bed last night Mom had pressure that was in the high 20's.  The doctor gave the order to put Mom back on sedation medicine if her pressure reached 30.  Last night when Mom got to 30 the nurse took her for a CAT scan to make sure nothing new was happening inside of her head.  The CAT scan didn't show anything new. (This is good.)  So, sedation medication began.  The medicine has helped bring Mom's pressure down to the high teens.  This is great.  Remember from the last blog - normal pressure is between 8 and 15.  Mom's is a bit higher, but not much.  Of course, this is with medication.  I am not sure how long they will medicate.  We should talk with the doctor some time this morning hopefully.  I am happy that medication is working for now.  If the medicine doesn't help and her pressure goes up later today, the next step would be to paralyze her for a bit of time.  This would be a step backwards.  

For now, she is fine-ish.  Her swelling is lower and she is sleeping.  We have been told that we need to keep her asleep today and not disturb her too much.  The nurse said that she probably doesn't know we are there anyway, so we can go in sometimes to hold her hand.  Mom will probably not respond to us and we shouldn't encourage her to.  

I don't expect too much change today.  Sometimes, no change is a good thing.  

Plans for us.  I am here at the hospital until about 2 pm.  I will leave at 2 to go pick up my daughter Avery.  Ethan has the kids this morning.  He will drop Avery off at school and then at some point come to the hospital to visit Mom and give me Luke.  Heidi is up here all day, I think.  She will stay either at my house or Mom's house tonight to sleep.  Daddy will work some today and then come to the hospital tonight to stay.  At one point a few days ago, I said that the best time to visit was between 6 and 8:30 pm.  We are not staying at the hospital anymore at that time.  Whoever is here is usually going to dinner about that time.  If you need us, please call our cell phones.  Sometimes we have them turned off (when we are with Mom), but you can call and we will let you know where we are if you visit.  

Cell phones:

Amy 972-977-6157

Heidi 615-509-7543

Quiet day

Today, Heidi and Daddy stayed at the hospital in the afternoon while I went home to take care of my children.  I had not seen them since early Monday morning and missed them terribly!  Avery and I played Clue Jr. (thanks Uncle Chuck), slid on ice for fun in the driveway, and snuggled.  I also took some pictures of both kids.  It seems the more I am at the hospital, the more I want to leave and take pictures of family.  I even toyed with the idea of stealing Heidi away and going to take professional pictures of us together for a Valentine's Day gift for mom and dad.  I cannot remember the last time we took a professional picture together.  

Heidi and Daddy stayed at the hospital.  The doctor told us in the late afternoon that we needed to not stimulate Mom too much.  Although they usually let us go in and talk and hold her hand, these type of things done too much today could be harmful to her.  Her brain is swelling.  Normal brain pressure is about 8 to 15.  Mom's was about 23 this morning.  Tonight she was closer to 30.  If she gets to 30, the doctor has told the nurse to put her back on sedation medication.  The sedation would help Mom to not move and think too much.  The more a person thinks, the more blood flows through the brain.  This could make her brain have more pressure in it.  She has more swelling this evening than she did at noon.  We are hoping that the swelling peaks in the next day or so.  

Good things that Mom is doing:  

1. Mom can nod her head.

2.  Mom can move her arms/and one leg when told to. (follow commands)

3.  Mom can open her right eye just a bit when she doesn't have a mask on her face to reduce swelling.

4.  Mom is not biting her breathing tube as much.  

Tonight I spoke with the night nurse.  She was new tonight but said she will be with us tonight and tomorrow night.  I think her name is Adrian.  Anyway, Adrian said that patients with this type of surgery heal very slowly.  No change is often a good thing.  We have to take this in baby steps.  

Plans for us.  Tonight Heidi and I are sleeping at the hospital.  I will stay until around 2 tomorrow afternoon.  Daddy went home tonight to get sleep.  He will work tomorrow and be back sometime in the evening.  Daddy will stay in the hospital tomorrow night.   Friday during the day, I will be here with Luke.  We don't know what is happening after Friday.  

Thank you for all of your comments and support!

Wednesday

We talked to the Dr. about 12:00 today.  The doctor is worried about the swelling on Mom's brain.  There are about 5 different things they can do to try to relieve pressure.  They have started the first thing which is giving her a medication that dehydrates her brain a bit.  

The most disturbing thing Daddy and I heard today was the doctor say, "Really, I have about 80% of my job to do with Debbie yet.  The surgery is just a small part.  Now, I have to watch her swelling and help her through the recovery process.  

When hearing this information my sister, Heidi said, "So - we have been through about 6 miles of a marathon.  We have a long way to go."  

Tuesday

It is 10:51 and I cannot sleep.  Today turned out a little less hopeful for me than it started.  

After waking mom up this morning, I had to leave.  From the time of 6:00 to 8:30 all family and visitors have to be out of ICU.  I went and talked to Ethan(my husband), wrote the blog, and went down to breakfast.  I had the most amazing breakfast cooked right in front of me.  

I went back upstairs and Ethan and I saw the Dr.  We listened as he told us he was going to order an MRI.  The doctor said that Mom responded to painful stimuli.  When he pinched her legs, they would respond.  He is worried about weakness in her right leg from the artery that he had to clamp off in surgery.  When he told us about this movement in her legs, he told us that the brain had done an amazing thing.  Mom's tumor had probably been pushing against the artery for a long time.  Mom's brain had already begun to take over her right leg from a different part of the brain.  He reminded us we "are not out of the woods yet."  He has seen patients die from swelling in their brain.  But he also told us she was on the most medicine that he could give her and the nurses were monitoring her.  He told us that we could talk with her today and as long as the nurses said it was okay, we could touch her and bother her.  This will help Mom know that it is daytime.  

I went directly to see her after this news.  I wanted to let her know about it.  When I got there, I spoke with her for a bit and then they took her to get an MRI.  She was gone for 1 1/2 hours.  Uncle John, Aunt Cheryl, Uncle Jim, Aunt Rita, and Uncle Chuck waited until they could go into her room and say goodbye.  We followed the rules and let only two people in at a time.  The nurse still came out in the hall and moved our group to the waiting room.  We had too many people outside the door to her room.  We followed the new rule without much complaining because we want the nurses focus to be mom. 

By 1:30 our whole family had gone.  Weather was getting bad in some places and where it wasn't bad - the news casters would say the bad weather was on it's way.  

As soon as everyone was gone, I headed to the hotel to take a shower.  I also stopped at my favorite store - Barnes and Nobel. I enjoy the smell of new books.  I like to read when I want my imagination to take me to a new place. Today, I wanted a book to help me get my mind off of where we are and why we are there.  I wanted a book so that I could sort of talk to mom - without having to think of words.  Angela Allen (a good friend of mine) is a reader and she suggested two series of books.  I picked the Julia series by Ann B. Ross.  I am sure this will be a wonderfully light hearted book to share with mom.  

I then headed back to the hospital.  I got lost on the way back.  I ended up in highland park.  It is really not a bad place to end up if you are lost.  Eventually I found my way back to the hospital and visited with Mom. 

We didn't see her really open her eyes the rest of the day.   The doctor did see her nod her head when he went on his rounds, but Daddy and Heidi didn't see that.  My husband says that we saw a lot this morning.  Mom is probably tired and he was surprised that we saw as much as we did already.  

After that, the ICU closed again and Daddy, Heidi and I went to a restaurant to eat.  We sat in a booth and Daddy pointed out that we had an empty seat where Mom should be.  It was really the first time we had sat down together - just our family since this whole thing began.  Tomorrow it will be a week.  

Going in at 8:30, I stood by her bed and tried to warm her hands.  I spoke softly to her and told her I loved her many, many times.  I don't want to leave her side at all.  I feel that if I sleep or turn around the fragile schedule that I have pieced together will break.  I know with all of my heart that God is in control of this situation.  He will not give any of us more than we can handle.  I repeat those words in my mind often.  

Blessings:

I am blessed that I have a great family that I love and spend time with.  I am blessed that I did have the good morning I had.  After waking mom up I found blessings all over the hospital - the Dr. Pepper was fixed in the cafe, omlets were for breakfast and there was not a line, I got to spend non -kid time with Ethan, I got to see my uncles who live far, far away.....

I am also blessed to have parents who love each other very much.  Tonight, Heidi and I went in first to say goodnight.  (About 8:30 pm).  After we saw her, we waited in the hall.  I watched Daddy talking to her.  He wants to be so gentle.  He speaks in a soft voice and he continues to pat her arm, leg, or hand.  He seems a little lost without her.  We all are.  

For some, tomorrow (Wednesday) will be a snow day.  My advice is to call, take pictures, hug, and kiss the ones you love.  I know you will.  Savor every moment. 

"Good Morning Starshine" ~ Oliver

My husband Ethan and I stayed in the waiting room overnight last night.  We let the nurse know we were here, but we also let him know we would stay out of his way unless he needed us.  The nurses here like for there to be "night-time" for the patients.  They try to do their best to have the room darker, voices quieter, and they don't mess with them except when they take vitals.  Ethan and I really slept well.  This was the first night that we have slept away from our nine week old son - who still doesn't sleep through the night.  I got about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  

I continued to check the clock, though.  They close the ICU to visitors during 6 to 8:30 am and pm.  At about 5:50 am I crept down the hall.  I need to tell you if you don't already know, but Mom is not a morning person.  Growing up, Daddy and I were too talkative and had too much energy for mom in the morning.  She was always a grump.  Most days Daddy and I would poke fun at her - and Heidi - for being tired and grumpy.  So, when I went in the room this morning I took all of my energy with me.  I whispered to the nurse and asked about her night.  He told me there was no change.  It was a quiet night.  She hadn't really woken up, but her vitals all were looking good and he thought she was improving.  

I moved closer to mom and just looked at her.  Stared really.  Yesterday, I didn't know if I would be able to do that today and I was yelling in my head a thank you to God.  I would yelled out loud, but I didn't want to frighten anyone.  Some of mom's roommates are a little jumpy.  

As I watched her breathe, her eye moved and looked at me.  Her face is all swollen, so her eyes- especially her right eye just barely peeks out from below her lid.  I said good morning and then hurried to find the nurse.  He turned on the light (something Mom hates in the morning) and pulled on her eyelids.  When I talked to her, she focused on me again.  She watched me jump up and down and her eyes followed my movements.  The nurse asked her to squeeze his hand and she couldn't yet.  He seemed pleased, wrote the progress in her chart and stepped a few feet away to check on another patient.   

I wasn't done visiting with mom.  I had ten minutes and I was going to use every bit of that time to wake her up if I could.  I talked a bit.  It is easier to find words this morning for me.  It seems we have gone over one "hurdle" and I am more hopeful than I have been in days.  I told her all about the tumor being gone.  I told her about Daddy hugging the doctor - several times last night.  (Heidi, Daddy, and I tackled him outside of Mom's room again late last night when he had checked on her just one more time.  He is such a kind man.)  I told her that she would just get better now - so focus on that and we would be here every step of the way.  As I was talking I would tell her something and then say, "Right?" or "You know that, Mom - right?" TWICE while I spoke with her, she nodded her head up and down.  I grabbed the nurse and tried to show him, but nothing happened.  I know I saw it.  The nurse believed it.  

It seems for now she is improving.  I am so proud of my mom!  I am sure I will write more later today - keep praying!! 

Surgery is over - there is news.

10:00- The doctor came in.  Everyone gathered around the room to listen to him explain.  It was so quiet.  

The doctor looked tired as he explained what happened in surgery.  He said that he was able to remove the ENTIRE tumor and that it was hard, as in difficult to remove and physically hard which means it had been there awhile.  He feels that the operation went very well up until an artery began to bleed. The doctor spent quite awhile attempting to stop the bleeding without sacrificing the artery but eventually had to clamp the artery to stop any further bleeding.  We don't know exactly what this did, its possible there was enough blood flow from other vessels to make up the difference, however if not, this could have caused a stroke that would effect her left leg. This appears to have been the only complication. She is back in ICU and the anesthesiologist is keeping her sedated tonight. She may also have another MRI tonight to determine the amount of brain swelling and if she did in fact suffer a stroke. The doctor feels it will be a day or two before she is awake enough to tell how she will respond. A couple of us will stay at the hospital overnight to keep abreast of any changes.

At the end of the doctor's speech, my daddy hugged him.  I know how he felt.  The doctor had been in with mom all day and he was able to fix her.  Words could not express our thanks to him for his hard preparation and tenderness with my mom.  Before he left, we said a prayer of thanksgiving. 

Although we are not out of the woods yet (the next 24 to 48 hours are most critical) - we feel as though this is a hurdle that we have gotten over.  Please continue to pray for my mom and daddy.  Also - please pray for the family members and friends who are traveling back to their houses in this icy weather.  We need everyone to remain safe.  

Thank you for your continued prayers and concern.  We will update you as we have more information.

Late Monday evening.....

Still no word.  Mom is still in surgery. 

Nothing yet.

We have not heard anything yet.  

That should be a good sign! 

"The Waiting is the hardest part." ~Tom Petty

This morning I drove to the hospital.  What normally is a 40 minute ride took about an hour and a half.  The weather was foggy and a bit wet so traffic in Dallas is bad.  I think the weather fit the mood I was in.  I will stay near the hospital with the rest of the family tonight.

Heidi, Daddy and I got to see Mom this morning.  She was heavily sedated when we saw her, but she opened her eyes.  She even smiled a couple of times.  They did some things this morning like a CAT scan to prepare for surgery.  We were even able to visit with her doctor before the surgery.  

Some of you may be wondering about what is going to happen during the surgery.  I know your thoughts are with mom.  So - let me give you more of a visual image.  First, they will shave part of her head (maybe the whole thing, I am not sure. Hair has been the least of my worries.) Next, they will drill a hole at the top of her head and put in a shunt that will drain fluid from her skull during and after surgery.  The doctor said swelling from surgery can be severe enough to cause death in some patients, but the shunt should relieve pressure and will help mom.  They will cut her head in a zig-zag pattern from ear to ear.  Then they will pull her forehead down.  They will drill many holes  in the top.  They will pull her skull bone away and set it aside.  Then they will cut into the membrane around the brain.  They are going in from the right side mostly.  I am going to skip a few details now and then tell you about the tumor.  They will attack the tumor like an apple.  They will take out the core of it first.  Then, they will take out the outside skin of it.  During surgery they will have to make some decisions about how much they can take without giving mom strokes.  If they cannot get all of the tumor they will radiate it away with focused radiation after the surgery.  Below the brain, the tumor went into the bone of the skull.  It caused a hole by the sinus cavity.  The doctor will use muscle and other tissues from her body to repair the hole so that the spinal fluid doesn't leak into her nose and mouth and cause other problems.  She will have another shunt or tube that will let the spinal fluid drain until her hole has healed enough to have liquid in it.  Then they will put her back together again with bone cement and stitches.  

The doctor is worried about stroke, heart attack, possible vision problems, and maybe movement in one or both legs.  The surgery is a tricky one.  He did let me know that he had a good weekend.  He got plenty of rest and he had been thinking about this surgery even on his off time.  I am confident that he is ready and prepared.  

Mom went down to surgery around 9:30 this morning.  We will not know anything until sometime this evening.  The most critical time is the first 24 to 48 hours after surgery.  We will not know for sure about all complications until probably Wednesday or later this week.  

When I am sitting here waiting I am looking around at visitors and thinking of all of the wonderful blessings we have around us.  There are not really words to express how thankful we are for your calls, food, visits and most of all prayers.  We are very humbled by this experience.  Thank you.  

She is in God's hands.  All we can do is pray and wait. 

Sunday

"Good morning!  You are so cute today!"  This is what I my daddy said as he came into Mom's room this morning.  Mom smiled.  Her whole face lit up.  I was watching her and I could see the relief in Mom's face and the love in her eyes when he walked in.  It was so good to see her happy, if even for a moment.

Today Mom is able to communicate with us.  She wants us to hold her hand all of the time.  The ICU is usually a place to come and go.  Visits we were told should be short.  BUT - since Mom wants us there, we can stay.  We just cannot sit down.  It is a rule.  Our legs feel like jelly.  

Daddy explained to Mom about what is happening.  Mom knows she has a tumor and that she will have surgery.  She is scared.  We prayed with her a couple of times.  We are doing our best to be happy and dry eyed when we are visiting with Mom.  

Heidi is getting a hotel room for us that is close to the hospital.  This will let us come and go easily during the day.  My Uncle Jim and Aunt Rita are coming in from Iowa and they will stay with us there.  We will probably keep the hotel room for 2-3 days.  

Tomorrow is surgery.  Mom is going to go into surgery sometime around 9 or 10 am.  The surgery is an 8-10 hour event.  IF things are going well, we will not hear anything.  The doctors will stay with Mom and take care of her.  IF things aren't going well, they will come out and update us.  Please pray for a calm uneventful day - and night.  

Thank you all for calling, reading the blog, praying and visiting.  Thank you for being our friends.   

Saturday - A quiet day.

Saturdays are to rest and visit with friends - right?  Today we are doing just that.  Of course, Daddy, Heidi and I have had our moments of sadness, but overall we have enjoyed visiting today.  

I visited with Mom today.  On the way to the hospital this morning I was having a moment.  I usually pick up my cell phone and dial Mom each time I jump in the car.  I do this at least once a day.  Today, I couldn't do that.  I have not really visited with Mom since Tuesday and I miss her so very much!  

When I got here, though.  She blinked at me and seemed to know what I was saying.  I talked with the nurse and then left for a bit to take care of Luke.  While I was gone several friends got to visit with Mom, too.  

THEN - I went into her room and she was more awake.  Aunt Cheryl Rich (her old college roommate), Heidi and I were in the room.  Aunt Cheryl talked with mom.  I really ran out of things to tell her quickly.  SO - I asked her if she wanted me to read to her and she nodded her head!  When reading the book "Dewey" about a cat from Iowa, I got done with about a page and a half and then Mom tried to sit up.  This is something she really shouldn't do.  I asked her to blink once if she wanted me to leave - and she did.  She blinked very hard.  Although my father would love to read a book about Iowa, mom probably doesn't really want to hear about it.  It was all I had at the moment, though.  

It has been wonderful to see her awake and moving.  She cannot speak because she still has tubes down her nose and down her throat.  They decided not to take the tubes out because they would just have to put them back in anyway before surgery.  

I am so happy that Mom is awake and able to nod her head.  She seems to be with us and know most of what is going on.  I am sure that all of it is overwhelming and tiring.  Today is a great, wonderful day.  I am happy that I can visit with Mom.  Even if it is for only a few precious moments.  

Daddy wanted to thank all of you for your prayers for Mom.  The visits, food, snacks, and water have been great!  The rest of the day should be a quiet day.  We will visit with our friends and Mom and count every precious blessing that we can.  

Post angiogram

Mom is out of the angiogram. She came through it well. She also found out she has a "non hypervascular" tumor. Which would mean there is very little blood flow to it. This also could be another sign it is not cancer. There were no vessles that they could block off today. They will do them during surgery. I have been told this is good news.

Daddy is happy.

1:24 - Friday

Welcome all!

Mom has a "Meningioma." It is a tumor that grows just under her brain cavity between her eyebrows. For now, the dr. doesn't think this is cancer. We will not know for sure until after surgery on Monday.

Daddy got updates from Dr. Bildiwala this morning. Mom had an MRI last night. It was ordered because the doctor was concerned. Mom is responding to some commands, but not all of the time. He wanted to know if she had had a stoke or if she had more seizeres. Good news - so far no stroke. No more seizeres either.

Mom was tested for a genetic mutation that I have called factor 5. She has it. It is a mutation that makes her more likely than the rest of the public to either have a heart attack or stoke because of blood clots. With this information, the doctors will give her medicine that will help her. It is a balancing act. They have to give her enough to make her not clot early, but not too much to cause over bleeding. With the information, we will hopefully be able to prevent stroke or heart attack. She has a high risk for both.

Right now mom is being wheeled out to an angiogram. She has a major artery that goes into the tumor. The procedure will let us know if it goes into the front of the tumor or the back. If it goes into the front of the tumor then the doctors will take care of it during surgery on Monday. If it goes into the back of the tumor, they will put something like glue into the arterys to block them. The more arterys they can block, the better for the surgery. She should be out of that around 4 pm today.

After that procedure, they will take the breathing tube out of her throat. Then, they will take most sedation meds off. This will allow mom to wake up more and let us know how much she can respond. Hopefully, we will be able to talk to her and tell her about what is wrong. Pray that we will have the correct words that don't scare her too much.

Saturday should be a quiet day. We will be able to see her more probably because she will be awake.

Sunday, Mom will have another MRI to map the brain before surgery. This will help the doctors know exactly where they are in her brain.

Monday will be 8-10 hours of surgery.

For now, limited visitors. If you are going to visit, please come between 6:00 and 8:30. This is a time both morning and afternoon in which we cannot see mom because of shift change. Dad is able to visit and not have to split time with mom. For now, we are going home at 9:00ish. This way we can rest, take showers and get ready for the next day. The nurse is two feet from her at all times usually in a chair for now. We will get a hotel room during sugery and after to stay closer to the hospital.

Please keep your prayers centered on Mom and Daddy.

In Dad's words, "This is like a very long race with a LOT of hurdles. We have to get over every hurdle."

Thank you for your prayers. If you have questions, comment, email aclark78@hotmail.com, or call 972-977-6157 (my cell).